Saying Nothing IS Saying Something

Conversations that address behavior and performance are necessary if the organization is going to meet its goals and achieve high results. If we allow behavior that is unaligned to our values, standards, and culture to continue, we are saying we permit and promote those actions. Helping others to correct and improve their behavior shows the entire team you care about them as an individual as well as the whole organizations’ success. When impact message conversations are conducted correctly, they can make the difference between an employee who is fully engaged and committed to the organization, and one who feels criticized and unmotivated.

Before it becomes necessary to have a conversation in an attempt to help a colleague, supervisor’s, or supervisee’s behavior, it’s important to invest in building your relationships. Invest in your colleagues’ personal lives, practice active listening when others are speaking, and get to know the people you work with. The recipient will likely be more grateful for the feedback when it comes from a person they have established trust with. When we have previously built a foundation for strong relationships throughout our organization it is easier to understand that feedback is a helpful and necessary part of improvement for everyone. Some key phrases to use so the recipient understands the message is coming from a supportive stance are, “I want to see you succeed, and I see an opportunity for you to strengthen your skills,” or, “I want to set you up for success,” and “I care about you.”

In leadership, it is important to be able to recognize behaviors that are not aligned to the organizations desired values or standards. The purpose of an impact message is to correct a repeated behavior or action in a supportive, caring manner that helps the person understand how their behavior is impacting the organization’s mission. The impact message can be used during a leader-to-employee conversation, or between colleagues, chairs or board members. If you are just witnessing an undesired behavior for the first time, it is best to approach the conversation using the Stub Your Toe model. The Impact Message is often the next logical step to take after a Stub Your Toe conversation if the unwanted behavior continues. These types of conversations work best in a face-to-face format, never send an impact message via text or email.